No longer ‘weighing’ in

In the middle of his record-breaking season, Doug Weight will have to…well, ‘wait’. The veteran was chasing names on the list of all-time points among American-born players, cracking the 1,000 mark earlier this season. The Islanders, who have ‘dug’ themselves a hole at the bottom of the conference, will be missing Weight for six weeks due to a sprained MCL in his knee.

I love Doug Weight’s name

What a great name for puns.

Grebeshkov hates Plekanec

During the second period of last week’s match-up of Edmonton and Montreal, Canadiens’ forward Tomas Plekanec decided that Oilers’ defenseman Denis Grebeshkov looked tired. Figuring he could help, Plekanec pulled Grebeshkov from behind down to the ice, where he stayed for quite some time.

Aftermath: Grebeshkov is fine and Plekanec will be forfeiting $17,204.30-worth of salary to the Players’ Emergency Assistance Fund along with two games. The Canadiens’ forward will return to the line-up tonight against the Washington Capitals.

Esposito out for rest of season

Esposito…Esposito…where have I heard this name before? Ahh yes, the former first-round draft pick of the Penguins who was traded to Atlanta for Pascal Dupuis and some other guy who shall remain nameless. Well Esposito, not surprisingly, is yet to see NHL action and is still in the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League. However, he is also practicing with the Canadian junior hockey team.

The prospect tore his ACL in a game against Victoriaville early last week and, as stated, will be out the remainder of the season.

Therrien replaced

Well…this is awkward. Of all the coach firings I’ve covered this season, I never thought I’d be doing one on the Penguins. As I’m sure most of you are aware by now (if not, wake up), Therrien was replaced by Wilkes Barre- Scranton head coach Dan Bylsma. Yeo remains, Savard to be reassigned, Meloche stays.

I’d like to personally thank HCMT for his time spent in Pittsburgh (because as we know, he’s an avid reader). It’s hard to call the man a bad coach when he takes a team from second worst in the league to second best in the league over a span of two seasons. Best of luck to you, Michel.

As for present interim coach Bylsma, what better way to start off your NHL career than against the last place New York Islanders? Can’t mess that up right?

…oh boy

Scratch that. Ok, so he lost to the last place New York Islanders. But can we fault him already? I think not. Fleury gave up bad goals in the shootout (and I mean really bad) and Malkin let the puck drift away from him in front of an open net. I think in this case, the players didn’t really mold together to show their new coach what they can do.

And Ryan Whitney scored a goal! On the power play! This doesn’t happen often you know. When it does, they really need to capitalize from it.

Bylsma’s next chance will be at the Mellon Arena tomorrow night when the Pens welcome the Canadiens. And yours truly will be personally attending to assess the new coach…and watch the game, of course.

The Wings hate the Avs

The rivalry that has been growing ever since the Quebec Nordiques moved to Colorado continues to flourish. However, in what has been recently dominated by Detroit, momentum has now swung toward Colorado. The Avs have already secured the season series, winning all three match-ups thus far.

The most recent win last Sunday went to the fifth round of a shootout, where known Red Wing- killer Jordan Leopold notched the final tally to give Colorado the 6-5 win in Joe Louis Arena. The next, and final, meeting will be at Denver’s Pepsi Center on March 4.

Jeff Reed hates wet hands

The Pittsburgh Steelers’ kicker was cited for disorderly conduct and criminal mischief shortly before 3 a.m. Saturday. And what would cause a man of this caliber to be charged with such?

Towels…that’s right, towels.

While in a New Alexandria Sheetz, Reed grew upset that the restroom had no towels to dry his hands (which are important to a kicker). Store employees informed state police that they heard Reed “banging on something and that it was really loud.” The employees said Reed then left the bathroom “using profane language in a loud manner” and stating that there were no towels in the restroom.

Reed had to resort to using a hot air dryer. As I read how upset he was, I realized Reed must have some fear of automatic hand dryers. Maybe he got his hands too close to the dryer, got them stuck, and his hair (which could even get Brian Engblom to laugh), remained as such.

NHL.com still hates Pittsburgh

I know we’ve talked about this before. Now we have new reason to believe so. Last week, the New Jersey Devils beat the San Jose Sharks, the NHL’s number one team. The title read “David beats Goliath” on the website. Psss , NHL.com, the Pens beat them too. And to top things off, the Pens are tenth while the Devils lead the Atlantic Division.

Jordan Staal hates open nets
AHHHHH!!!!! Tyler Kennedy made a great play to find a wide open man Monday on Long Island and Staal missed the gaping net. Oh well, it’s not like they needed that goal or anyth…oh wait, never mind.

FSN loves commercials

One of many first period technical difficulties, FSN went to a break after an icing call during the first period on Long Island Monday afternoon. Realizing that the NHL no longer allows breaks after icing calls, they cut back in to the game. Keep your head up, FSN.

The Panthers hate the Penguins

For as long as they have existed, the Florida Panthers have always played well against Pittsburgh. And now, they are still beating the Penguins up…even when they aren’t playing them.

I’m not trying to make that into a statement from another dimension where only things so hypothetical are understood that your brain explodes. Instead, I’m referring to the Panthers consistently winning, forcing Pittsburgh to do nothing less than the same. Last night, Florida beat up on New Jersey 4-0 at their home in Sunrise, Fla.

Florida has won six of their last eight games. They continue their home-stand with Chicago and Boston coming to town this week. The Panthers then go on a five-game road trip to Boston, New York (Rangers), New Jersey, Washington, and Atlanta. They then welcome the Penguins March 5.

That will do it for this week’s edition of the HH Report. As always, keep a sharp eye out for more haters in hump-days to come.

Happy hating!