Before I get started with the Report this week, look around your screen. Isn’t this awesome? The site looks great, very aesthetically pleasing. Not to mention, I have a cool graphic now. Can’t beat that.

Now that I have that out of the way, let’s get to it.

The Los Angeles Kings

I don’t care if you’re the defending Stanley Cup champions, you don’t get to parade around your arena with the Cup again. You don’t lift the Cup and pass it around like you just won again once another season has started. Not only is it bad luck, it’s bad taste if you ask me.

You have the Cup in the arena, on a table or something, as the banner is lifted? Awesome. Great. It should be there. But not passed around again.

And thanks to each individual player taking a few steps with the Cup again, the start to the Penguins/Flyers game was delayed (you’ll get yours in a minute, NBC).

By the way, how’d all that end for you? A 5-2 loss? Yeah, no sympathy here. The Kings deserved to have their party spoiled.

The Brandon Sutter Rule

As indicated in a story by the Post-Gazette, the Penguins took some time Monday to revisit one of the NHL’s newest rules. Said rule is the one that states a player cannot use his hands on a faceoff.

During the Rangers’ game Sunday, Brandon Sutter did exactly that. Who can blame him, though? From the time you’re taught to take faceoffs as a little tike, you’re told to use any part of your body to win the draw. I’m sure he won’t be the last one to take the penalty, classified as a faceoff violation.

Unfortunately for Brandon, I’ll probably always refer to it as the Sutter Rule from here on out.

NBC

You know I don’t like to dish a lot of hating out to NBC (unless, of course, it involves Flintstone Milbury), but they left me know choice this time.

If you were one of the millions of people that NBC didn’t tell about their plan to push back the start of the Pittsburgh/Philadelphia game until the first break in action in LA, chances are you were freaking out Saturday.

I get the reasoning behind it all, I really do. The Kings won the Cup last year (in case you didn’t get that already) and they should be the team to lead in the coverage of a new season. Every league does it, and I have no argument there. But you should probably tell everyone in the east who didn’t expect that.

After taking a lot of heat on the twitterverse, NBC was forced to release a statement explaining that coverage would switch in eastern markets momentarily.

I hope we all learned a lesson here.

Sergei Bobrovsky hates Damien Brunner

I think I speak for most hockey fans when I say, “WHAAAAAAAT?!”

The flu must still be going around in the Midwest because that move was siiiiiiick. For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, probably thinking I’m a babbling psycho right now, Swiss forward Damien Brunner sealed a Detroit win over Columbus Monday night by scoring the final, and only goal of the shootout on Sergei Bobrovsky with one of the finest drags I’ve ever seen.

It must have been even better knowing Pavel Datsyuk, the man who popularized, if not invented, the move itself, was watching on the bench behind him. Bobrovsky’s reaction of utter disbelief that the shot went in is priceless.

Pierre McGuire, however, slightly ruined the moment for me with his quip as the NBC crew was ready to send it back to the studio.

“This will be on every sports highlight show in Switzerland…America, too,” McGuire said.

Look, I’ve been in broadcasting, we all know you want to end the broadcast with a good line, especially after witnessing that goal. But that wasn’t the line you wanted. Let me know if you find out how many sports highlight shows Switzerland really has. I guarantee you that it’s still more than America really needs.

ROOT Rants

All this talk of broadcasting got my wheels turning on a new segment. I’m sure we all have our gripes about the coverage we get from ROOT Sports. If you don’t, good for you! Skip this part.

For those of you that stuck around, I’d like to begin with this week with the lovable Paul Steigerwald. Instead of ranting about his performance, I’d like to instead offer a game. During the next broadcast, count the number of times Steigy uses the terms “shot pass” or “slap pass,” “center drive,” and “long reach.” Additionally, note in how many times those terms were actually applicable to the situation.

Next: Potash. I could choose many things about Danny Boy that made me just want to turn off the television Sunday, but given my love of social studies, I’ll go with his geography misstep. When talking about Tomas Vokoun, Potash said he was no stranger to western Pennsylvania given his time spent with the then-Wheeling Thunderbirds in 1995-96.

No, you’re not crazy. Wheeling has never been a part of Pennsylvania, and is, indeed, still in West Virginia. I mean, I guess I can grant him the divisional games they played against the Johnstown Chiefs that year, but that’s as lenient as I’m getting. Can we get this guy “Where in the USA is Carmen Sandiego?”

(Sorry for all the Carmen Sandiego references lately. I really liked geography as a kid.)

Flyers fans getting nervous

Philadelphia has only played two games this season, and fans are beginning to doubt goaltender Ilya Bryzgalov. Or are they? It depends on who you ask.

After the Flyers lost their second game of the season to Buffalo, Philly faithful appeared torn on twitter and Facebook. Most suggested Bryz didn’t look right, and that he was giving up bad goals. Others felt it was the defense that appeared shaky. Either way, Flyers fans aren’t happy.

Last night’s shutout loss to New Jersey probably didn’t help, considering the Flyers are now 0-3 and Bryzgalov has allowed 12 goals. I’m no math whiz, but that appears to be a 4.00 goals against average.

Don’t worry, guys. There are still 79 gam….oh wait, nevermind. Ahhh, c’mon, you’ll be fine. Current goalie problems or not, I don’t see a reason why Philadelphia won’t be in the postseason.

Rockford IceHogs

The AHL Chicago affiliate makes the list for two reasons this week.

The first was the bench-clearing brawl they started with the Grand Rapids Griffins last Saturday. By the time the officials cleared up the madness, six players ended up suspended, both teams fined, and Rockford coach Ted Dent suspended.

The brawl started courtesy of IceHogs left winger Kyle Beach, quite possibly because one of the Griffins made fun of his pink uniform.

Oh, I didn’t mention that? Rockford was sporting pink uniforms to help raise breast care awareness that night. I think we can all agree that’s a great thing to do, and a great way for players and fans to experience a unique approach to honor and support a needy cause. But I can think of more classy ways to treat said situation than droves of hand-to-hand combatants.

A few clever pundits described the brawl as looking like the St. Valentines’ Day massacre. And to those individuals, I applaud such an analogy.

The second reason Rockford is on the list is because IceHogs should be two words, not one. They stay on the list until it’s fixed.

Well that does it for this week’s edition of the Humpday Hater Report. Be sure to check back in next week for more (I promise not to use any Carmen Sandiego references).

Until then, happy hating!