You don’t know Jack

Jack Edwards has been battling Mike Milbury Disease for a while now, so I’ll try to be gentle on him.

By now we all know the Bruins’ play-by-play announcer for NESN compared Matt Cooke to Robert Kennedy assassin Sirhan Sirhan when he heard the Pittsburgh sports writers nominated Cooke for the Masterton Award.

He also callled out the Pittsburgh media for having an “outrageous lack of judgment.”

Now, if you can believe it, Edwards is more of a homer than Pauly Steig. And I don’t have as much of a problem with what Edwards said as I do with his apology.

Of course, it was reported that Ray Shero was visibly “enraged” by the comment and confronted Edwards during the first intermission. But the “apology” Edwards followed with was hollow – both on the air and on twitter.

Perhaps most embarrassing of all, Edwards blamed his comments on having a “bad week.” It’s one thing to be emotional after a week that was very difficult on Bostonians, but to use those events as an excuse for any crap that comes out of your mouth is low.

That is what Edward should be ashamed of, not his obviously uneducated opinions over which he has no control.

Matt Cooke Hatefest

The Ottawa Senators showed how little they care about making the playoffs Monday by holding a Matt Cooke Hatefest during the Sens’ game with Pittsburgh.

It was an elaborate plan, which undoubtedly came directly from GM Bryan Murray and his team of forensic skate analysts, that entailed booing every time Matt Cooke was on the ice, let alone when he played the puck.

But thaaaaaaaat didn’t work out so well.

You see, since Ottawa was so concerned with dirty man Matt Cooke, who entered the game with 87 less penalty minutes than Chris Neil, that they forgot they were only three points from falling out of the playoffs.

And now that Winnipeg won the same day, and Ottawa lost, the Senators fell to just one point from missing the postseason.

After their display this season regarding this matter, I hope they don’t.

Remember the Titans

That’s what you’ll have to do if you’re thinking of the Trenton Titans next season. The Titans-turned Devils-turned Titans again called it quits in the ECHL Tuesday.

Trenton started out as the minor league affiliate of the Flyers, then the Devils purchased them in the mid 2000s. After last year, the Flyers got them back and the team changed their name back to the Titans.

Attendance had been down in Sun National Bank Arena, and the franchise couldn’t operate any longer…just like what happened in Johnstown, and just like what seems inevitable in Wheeling.

Which begs the questions, why are ECHL teams in minor league hockey markets failing? Is their standard to high for what those markets can provide? And why does the league insist on moving south to create franchises like the Orlando Solar Bears?

And what the hell is a Solar Bear?

I think we’re going to need a bigger lamp

Do you think Toronto is excited to make the playoffs?

SportsNet is reporting there is a petition circulating in Toronto to temporarily make CN Tower a very large goal lamp for the Maple Leafs.

A few months ago, Budweiser came up with a promotion for Canada that would enable fans to put a real cast-iron goal lamp in their homes which would go off anytime their team scored.

Same concept, really, except this one revolves around one of the most recognizable landmarks in Canada.

I say go for it. Toronto hasn’t been in playoffs since the days of Mats Sundin and Ed Belfour.

(Just taking a few moments for that to sink in.)

So go wild, Leafs fans.

Full advantage of a short season

Speaking of Toronto, I can’t help but think that teams like the Leafs and the Islanders, who clinched a playoff spot last night, and how much a shortened season has done for them.

I joked before the start of the season that when the 48-game schedule began, every team would have a chance at the postseason – except the Islanders, who were already mathematically eliminated.

Sure, we all got a good chuckle out of it, but who knew the Izzlanders would actually prove me wrong.

As much as I hate to admit it, a shortened season may have been good for hockey fans who were losing faith in their clubs.

Of course, it was bad for essentially everything else, but at least it helped one thing, right?

(By the way – speaking of clubs making the playoffs – would love to see Winnipeg make it in. It would almost be a shame if it didn’t.)

All the President’s Trophies

(Pat yourself on the back if you got that journalism reference.)

The Penguins are still in the hunt for the President’s Trophy, awarded to the team with the best record in the NHL. Though it seems apparent Chicago will claim it, Pittsburgh is the only other team with a chance at it.

But, to be honest, Pittsburgh shouldn’t want it.

Only seven President’s Trophy winners have won the Stanley Cup since the trophy was first presented 27 years ago in 1985. And only one President’s winner in the last nine seasons has won the Cup (Detroit in 08, as much as I’d like to forget).

The Penguins only won the President’s Trophy once – in 1993. That was before they were upset by the Islanders in the Patrick Division finals.

That was the last playoff series the Islanders won. And who’s back in the playoffs this season? Yup…funny how that all works, isn’t it?

So I say, you can keep it, Chicago. Good luck.

For the record, the Penguins have only beat one President’s Trophy winner in the playoffs (New York Rangers in 1992).

Well that does it for this week’s Humpday Hater Report. Be sure to check back next week for more. Until then, happy hating!