Faceoff Factor

Pens at Rangers Grades

Mike Adams | Report Cards

Dec 19, 10:44 AM | Hype this story!

Big Apple Embarrassment.

Offense: F

What a pitiful performance by this supposedly, and I do emphasize, supposedly, potent offensive attack. Five whole shots in the first two periods, and one of those was on the power play. And it wasn’t as if they were missing the net or hitting the posts or something that made the shots on goal total look low. They came by it honestly. They generated no pressure, no forecheck, no transition, oh save for the nightly missed breakaway by Crosby. It was an embarrassing display of nonchalant incompetence by a group of players that is sorely in need of a shakeup, if the General Manager is awake and watching this crap. Not one player saw fit to produce even a drop of perspiration the first two periods. I guess they were all still hung over from the holiday party two days before.

Defense: D

They were a little better defensively, but that sure ain’t saying much. The Rangers had lots of quality chances, deflections, rebounds. Just about everything you can imagine. They just flat outskated the Penguins, and used this to generate chance after chance in the first two periods. Boy, those seven defensemen The Genius dressed really got into a rhythm, eh? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it is just plain stupid.

Power play: F

The power play might have been worse than the offense. It is getting worse by the game, thanks mainly to laziness and predictability. Ben Franklin said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Might I be so bold as to suggest we hire Old Ben to coach this worthless power play? Or even Big Ben? Night after night after night, The Genius throws the same crap out there, thinking it is suddenly going to click. Memo to The Genius: it ain’t. Here’s an idea. The top unit should be Crosby, Malone, Kennedy, Gonchar, and Letang. Then institute this novel concept called movement. Oh, but the players might have to break a sweat, and that’s not allowed during the holiday season. Sorry. The pluses to this are that it gets Whitney and his nightly whiff from the left circle the hell away from the power play and sits Malkin on the bench until the second unit comes out. Oh, and it also gets a couple righthanders out there. Just a thought.

Penalty kill: D-

Another brutal night for the penalty kill. It really is a bad combination when you take lots of dumb penalties and then can’t kill them. Of course, the Gomez goal was a result of putrid goaltending by Sabourin more than bad killing. Then again, a guy was wide open in front and likely would have tapped it in anyway. The second power play goal was another tap-in from in front by an uncovered Drury. The PK that had looked so good the first 10 games or so has degenerated into an unmitigated disaster. Their total inability to have a presence in front of the net is just killing them.

Goaltending: C

Well, Dany Sabourin was the least of their concerns in this one. He played very well until the shot from along the goal line eluded him. While the first goal was a tad questionable and fits his pattern of allowing an early goal, he rallied and was the only player who seemed to have the slightest interest in keeping the score respectable. He made numerous fine saves, especially the one deflection where he had to kick out his right leg at the last second. But on this night, they could have played with Patrick Roy, or they could have used no goalie from the start. It would not have mattered—they wouldn’t have scored even if the game was still going on now.

Sabourin as “The Man:” 2-3-0, 3.16 GAA, .897 save percentage.

Overall: F

Gee, I’ll bet you didn’t see that coming, did you? What a horrendous display of disinterested hockey this one was. From the top (Crosby) to the bottom (Empty Shirt Christensen), it was an unmitigated disaster. Once again, they fell behind in a division road game in the opening minutes, and just gave up hope thereafter. Oh, they managed to throw some junk at Lundqvist in the third period once the outcome was no longer in doubt, but, even then, they were not quality scoring chances for the most part. It was just a miserable, pathetic effort from start to finish

And now, the rest of the story…

Petr Sykora: F

Another night, another glorious scoring chance missed. Yo, Petr. You are paid to score goals. Maybe you might want to start doing it?

Influenza: F

Who knew Ryan Malone was so important? The flu took him out of the lineup, and look what happens.

.500: C

Well, how can it be anything else, right? It is middling. Mediocre. Blah. And it is what the Penguins will hover near all year. They are just not a very good team. The only consistent thing about them is their inconsistency.

Bella: A

We brought a new puppy into the house last night. Well, actually, she is about two years old, a stray that was very shy in the shelter. But she started coming out of her shell the second she came in the house, and is already showing that she is going to be a wonderful little doggie. She’s mostly Yellow Lab, but with something else mixed in that lightens her coat and makes her smaller. Her name was Bianca, but we don’t like that and are leaning toward Bella. I would post a picture, but I can’t seem to upload from behind the firewall here.

Striped Buffoon Huh? Calls of the Game

You didn’t think I would let Frederick L’Ecuyer pass without comment, did you? You know, the clown who doesn’t even know what constitutes a penalty shot? He also has no clue on checking from behind penalties. How Letang got called for boarding when it was obvious to anyone with eyes that Ryan Hollweg had taken a dive just boggles the mind. Even the Ranger announcers commented on how Hollweg basically hoodwinked Leclownyer.

*Empty Sweater Christensen: *

Oh, the title is there, but the grade is missing? Kinda like Christensen. The body is there, but there is nothing going on. You know, like an Oreo with no middle. Please, please, excise this guy from the roster, and now. I’d rather play Connor James than this loser.

The Monk Moment

It will occur at the end of the month, when the Pens actually get paid for this game. You really would have to ask in total amazement, “how did that happen?”

Gollum of the Game

Blair Betts, for his cheap hit and then punch on Kris Letang. But thanks to incompetent officiating, he only got one penalty for his efforts. Oh well, he does win this prestigious award, also.

Adam Hall: F

Seriously, why is this guy on the team? Don’t tell me it’s to kill penalties when the PK is so atrocious. Again, why not a guy like Tim Brent or James, who they already had? Hall just takes up space.

The Genius and The Captain: F

When a team so frequently comes out uninspired, you have to look at the leaders. The coach naturally gets the blame, as he is quite obviously unable to have his team ready to play on many nights. But where is the captain to kick some ass and take names? Yes, I realize Sid is young, but it is still the player-leaders’ responsibility to make sure the team is ready night after night. Not only Sid, but where is Roberts? Gonchar? Oh, wait, the way they play many nights indicates he IS the true leader in the room. Something has to change, and quick, if this team is to have any hope this year. This is two total stink bombs in a week against division foes.

Hockey Writers Association: F

Were they watching the same game I was? They voted Henrik Lundqvist number one star, proving once again how much of a joke the three stars are. I mean, seriously, you could have put acardboard cutout of Lundqvist back there and it would have had a shutout. He had absolutely nothing to do with the outcome of this game.