Faceoff Factor

Pens at Bruins Grades

Mike Adams | Report Cards

Dec 21, 11:10 AM | Hype this story!

Big Apple Embarrassment.

Offense: A-

The newly configured lines conjured up by The genius worked like a charm, well at least for 35 minutes. As for the last 25, well those are best deleted from memory. The new top line of Crosby, Malkin, and Armstrong was simply incredible in the first period. They just totally dominated shift after shift. The other three lines kept the momentum going with a tenacious forecheck. They got on the board early on a brilliant backhand pass from Crosby to a wide open Malkin in the slot. I would ask how Sid saw Malkin, but he’s Sid, so no need to ask the question. He just sees. The Colby throws a nice little pass into the crease and Sid deflects it past a stunned Tim Thomas. And before the ink was even dry on that one, another pass from Sid to Malkin for a laser beam slap shot, and suddenly it was 3-0. The Pens had a plethora of excellent chances the rest of the first period, but Thomas made some huge saves, especially on Empty Sweater Christensen. But old Empty Sweater, definitely playing his best game of the year, finally managed to put one in by deflecting a Whitney slapper in the second. The Pens continued to get a few good chances after that, but Thomas held them off the board with some brilliant saves on Malkin and Staal. But for the most part, they seemed content to sit on the four-goal lead and coast to victory. Bad plan.

Defense: D

Overall, it was an awful defensive effort. They allowed 41 shots to a Bruin team not known to strike any fear in the hearts of opponents (they are 18th in the league in goals per game). The defense was barely adequate as they built a 4-0 lead. But great play by Conklin kept the B’s off the board. But you had to know that wouldn’t last forever. The B’s did only manage one even strength goal. That was on a big rebound by Conklin to an uncovered Finnish guy I never heard of. Uncovered because he was Gonchar’s guy, I might add. As the Bruins came on over the latter part of the game, the Pens had no answer. They continually got bottled up in their own end because their defensemen, even with Orpik out of the lineup, are incompetent at moving the puck. They lost their composure and took one dumb penalty after another, and eventually it bit them.

Power play: F—————————

What a total debacle this power play has become. last night, it flat gave the Bruins a point they had no business getting. The Pens were sailing along with a 4-0 lead, then got two power plays toward the end of the second period that would have iced the game. Unfortunately, the power play did the exact opposite. The first one was so bad it sucked all their momentum away. The second was even worse, allowing a shorthanded goal right off a faceoff that Sid cleanly lost. It was an absolute, unmitigated disaster yet again. Nothing says fire the coach like an inept power play with all that talent on it. Once again, they rarely even established the zone because the breakouts were predictable and lazy. Then they once again performed half of the dump and chase, and it wasn’t the chase. Then when they did get it in, they just passed it around looking for that perfect shot. It continues to baffle me why Kris Letang is not on the top unit. Actually, it doesn’t. he is the one guy who is not afraid to put the puck on the net, anytime, anywhere. We simply cannot have that. We are not allowed to have goals like the first PP tally the Bruins got, where a defenseman just throws it at the net. If Mike Yeo is not told not to return from Christmas break, well, let’s just say Ray Shero has no interest in winning this year.

Penalty kill: D-

Gee, the PK allowed two more goals. Surprise, surprise. I have no way to look it up, but my guess is over the last month, the Pens have the worst special team in the league. I do know they are a pathetic -12 on special teams since November 7. The Bruins made the first PP marker look easy, as Andy Ference just aimed a wrister toward the net and both Glen Metropolit and Marco Sturm deflected it. On the tying goal, they gave Marco Sturm all the time in the world and he found a wide open (because the inept Jordan Staal lost him) Dennis Wideman for an easy slot shot. it was a clinic on how not to kill a penalty.

Goaltending: B

I was actually very happy with Ty Conklin’s play. He made a lot of big saves early on when the game was pretty wide open. He was very sound positionally, and he was sucking up rebounds. I will say, he stopped a lot of shots five hole that he didn’t look real confident on. But he stopped them and allowed no rebounds. It was hard to really blame him on any of the goals. First one, he had no chance on what was at least a double deflection. Second one, maybe he got caught sleeping a little bit, but it was a perfect shot right into the upper corner by P.J. Axelsson. The third goal is the one he’d probably like to have back. he allowed a juicy rebound that that unknown Finnish Flash (better to call him that than to try and spell it) put it. The tying goal was a wide open slot shot that DennisWideman again put in a perfect spot. I’m sure Conklin was frustrated at the turn of events, but he put it behind him long enough to stone Phil Kessel and Sturm in the shootout. All in all, a very solid performance by a third string goalie. Unfortunately, with their defense, on most nights, solid is not going to be good enough.

Overall: B

They got the two points, but allowed the Bruins to steal one with another late-game collapse. This team is incapable of playing with a lead because their defense is so horrendous. Once the other team ratchets it up, they have no answer. They were not content with blowing two-goal leads—they had to double their pleasure. But the first 35 minutes were just awesome. Man, the Crosby line was simply unstoppable. I took one for the team earlier this week by trading Malkin from my fantasy team, and look what happens. But hey, I still have Marian Gaborik. But seriously, the offense the first half of this game was just incredible, and they were one Tim Thomas save away from blowing it completely open. But then again, would a five-goal lead be enough?

And now, the rest of the story…

Discipline: F

Just absolutely terrible discipline by the Pens. One surefire way to blow a lead is to start taking dumb penalties. Now granted, the Striped Buffoons called the second half of this game as if they were under orders to keep the TV audience captivated, but still. The Bruins’ two power play goals came off terrible, lazy penalties by Gonchar and Christensen. You simply cannot have that when protecting a lead.

Sergei Gonchar: F

Two bad penalties. Lazy, inept point play on the power play. And his usual defensive cluelessness.

Mark Eaton: A

oh, boy! You thought this defense was bad before? Well, you ain’t seen nuthin’ yet, my friends. Because it now looks like the regular rotation will include exactly zero defensemen (okay maybe one if you count Letang) who are even minimally competent in their own end. Bad defenseman plus backup goal equals very bad combination. Season over if Eaton is out for any length of time.

Striped Buffoon Huh? Calls of the Game

We have a tie tonight. The first one was a call I have never seen in my 40 years of watching the NHL. Two guys drop the gloves and fight. Normally, that’s five minutes, right? Or at the very, very least, two for roughing. But McCreary gave Laraque and Zdeno Chara two for delay of game. Yep, you read it right. I guess he thought it was such a poor excuse for a fight by Chara that he just couldn’t bring himself to give fighting majors. But then, the two guys come out of the box and do the exact same thing again. This time, five for fighting. Incredible. But McCreary equalled this bit of incompetence later in the game. Chara and Gonchar went for a loose puck and Chara fell,after holding Gonchar. Yet Gonchar goes to the box. This was blindness at its best.

NESN: A

Great HD broadcast last night. The announcers were just in awe of Crosby, before the game and all through it. It far outdid any praise Mike Lange ever lavished on one of his love children like Marc Savard. They even had Mad Mike Milbury in studio, and he is not afraid to voice his opinion, such as when he said that Chris Simon “needs to be put away.” That might be a bit harsh, but it’s hard to disagree with, too.

The Monk Moment

We’ll have to give it to Kris Letang, who prevented a goal by taking a baseball swing at a puck that got behind Conklin. He has a better swing than half the guys that steal paychecks over at PNC Park.

Gollum of the Game

Oh, it has to be former fan favorite Andy Ference for his bout with Sid. he just kept goading Sid with facewashes that went undetected by the Blind Striped Buffoons, and Sid finally had enough and fought Gollum. My guess is next game, Mr. Gary Roberts will introduce himself to this Gollum. Big Georges would like to, but he’d likely be jailed for assaulting this little piece of crap, such a mismatch it would be.

Gordie Howe Hat Tricks: A

Way to go, Sid. I never thought he would accomplish this. But maybe he actually wanted one, since he already had the goal and assist when he got in the fight. I will say, it really scares me seeing him do it, but he just earned even further respect from his teammates by doing it.

Sidney Crosby: A

Okay, he was perfect except for the one lost draw on the shorty. But what a tremendous effort by him in this one. he was everywhere, doing everything. Simply the best.

Evgeni Malkin: A

See what happens when he shoots the puck? He has a tremendous shot, but just doesn’t want to use it. I have no idea why.

Colby Armstrong: A

Three assists and a +4 for a guy who might be the perfect complement to Sid and Malkin when they play together.

Big Georges Laraque: A

Just for laughing at Chara after the two “fights.” It was priceless.