Faceoff Factor

Hump-day Hater Report 11-19-08

Mike Wilson | National Hockey League

Nov 19, 04:14 PM | Hype this story!

The Penguins really hate being hated (part 2)

As mentioned in last week, I called the Penguin’s offense out to get in the game and score at least 3 goals in all of their upcoming games (which included games from Edmonton to Buffalo). Well they not only met my expectations, scoring 5 goals-4-7-5-5, but also winning every one of those games.

Now it had seemed as though my installing them on the hater list served as motivation. I also said last week that they would remain on the list until they went on a 10-game winning streak. Though their win streak was stopped at six last night against Minnesota, their point streak is still on (knock on wood).

Dany Sabourin hates Sage Steele

After Sabourin’s triumphant save against Philadelphia, the Penguin’s number two goalie faced some name mispronunciation…but surprisingly, not his last name. The save made against Mike Richards in the shootout made number three the top ten plays of the week on ESPN’s Sports Center (wow…look at ESPN actually caring about hockey…way to go guys!).

Not so fast ESPN! Co-host Sage Steele kept calling him Dony Sabourin (both in the highlight and the in the top ten) not once, not twice, not even thrice (that’s right…thrice), but four times in one morning. Even when the other co-host tried to correct her, she didn’t get it through her head. Oh where for art thou Barry?

…oh wait a minute!...

Barry Melrose hates Tampa Bay

With only 16 games under his belt for the 2008-09 season, Tampa Bay head coach Barry Melrose was fired Saturday by GM Brian Lawton. “This was a tough decision to make,” said Lawton. “Barry is a good man and we have a great deal of respect for him. We wish him nothing but success.”

In an interview with Hockey Night in Canada, Barry told Don Cherry and the gang “I did it my way,” and referred to himself as Frank Sinatra for doing so. He also said, “I didn’t sell my soul to the devil. I did everything the way I think it should be done. It didn’t work. I’m fine with that and I can live with myself.”

A couple things stand out from former coach Melrose’s comments:

1) “I did it my way.” I think I’ve figured this one out…Barry’s next job will be spokesman for Burger King.

2) Listing “Barry” and “Cherry” in the same sentence gave me a great ice cream idea to pitch to Ben and Jerry’s. I know they already have “Cherry Garcia,” but “Don Cherry Berry Melrose” can be a combination of cherries, berries, and that ungodly musk the two men must put over those suits.

So Barry, how good is ESPN looking right now? I, personally, would love to see someone at that station who knows anything about hockey (after all, Buccigross can’t handle the load by himself). Interim coach, and former Penguin, Rick Tocchet has taken over Melrose’s job behind the bench.

By the way, Melrose isn’t the first NHL coach to be fired this season. The Chicago Blackhawks dismissed Denis Savard earlier this season after only four games…which we all know is plenty of time to gauge the success of a coach.

Pittsburgh hates Tampa Bay

…for copying!

Correct me if I’m wrong, readers. But doesn’t there seem to be a creepy similarity between the current Tampa Bay Lightning and the Pittsburgh Penguins from the season after the lockout? Let’s take a look.

There are a lot of experienced veterans and role players built around a number one draft pick with high expectations. They both brought in veteran goaltenders. They’re head coach (the one they fired…just like Edzo) was a former player from the 80s and 90s turn analyst. Not to mention, given the team’s exceptional talent, they can’t win the games that they’re supposed to.

Call me crazy (wouldn’t be the first time), but the 2008 Tampa Bay Lightning are eerily similar to the 2005 Pittsburgh Penguins.

Producers hate Paul Steigerwald

When Pittsburgh broke out the third jersey for Saturday’s game against Buffalo, Steigy came on by saying, “We’re going back to the future.” That would’ve made sense had the Penguins worn the jerseys in the future, Steigy obtained the ability to travel through time, come back to today, and tell us that these are the jerseys the Pens will wear in the future.

If your brain has yet to explode, continue reading.

Matt Cooke, Sidney Crosby, and Alex Goligoski hate the Devorski brothers

Referee Paul Devorski and linesman Greg Devorski, along with the other officials Saturday, got very whistle-happy against the Penguins. The drama began when Matt Cooke got called for a slashing penalty, when, in actuality, it was he who had received the slash. Another came when the Penguins had drawn a penalty in the offensive zone and the puck had come around to Alex Goligoski…when suddenly the whistle blew even though the Sabres were yet to touch the puck.

But probably the most influential was when Crosby stole the easily-visible, unfrozen puck in Ryan Miller’s crease and shot it in the net after an unnecessary whistle. Paul Steigerwald and Bob Errey unfortunately were unable to stop talking about how crucial the play really was since the “pane of glass” had been broken behind Miller which led to a goal harvest for Pittsburgh.

Jordan Staal hates Ryan Miller

Sure Staal had a great game against the Sabres but there are a few seconds he’d like to forget. After going to the net to get a possible rebound, Jordan Staal received a little…let’s call it “hate tap” from Ryan Miller. This “low” blow to the Penguins’ forward wasn’t received very well and Staal had to take a few minutes to fully gauge what had happened. The play resulted simply in a warning for Miller, coming as a reminder to him that this is, as surprising to some, a professional sport.

The guy who selects the three stars of the week hates Jordan Staal

After notching six points in only two games last week, Jordan Staal has been the fire behind the Penguins’ offense. His hat trick game against the Red Wings gave his team the win, not to mention his game-winning assist. The first of his two goals in the Sabres game gave the Pens a well-deserved insurance marker on their way to a 5-2 victory.

Yet, Jordan Staal was not one of the three stars of the week in the NHL. Instead they went to:

1) Nicklas Backstrom (WAS) 11 points (2 goals, 9 assists) in 4 games.

2) Alexander Ovechkin, (WAS) 10 points (5 goals, 5assists) in 4 games.

3) Dan Ellis (NSH) 2.28 GAA .944 save % in 3 games.

What stands out is that it took Backstrom and AO twice as many games to score less than twice as many points as Staal did in his two-game span. Also, the contributions Staal made to his team earning a victory in both games was exceptional. But, once again…I’m just the writer…

With that, we conclude another HH Report. I apologize if they are getting a little shorter in length as my schedule and work load tighten up at the end of the semester. I assure all you faithful readers they will return to full strength in a week or two. As always, look for more haters in hump-days to come.

Happy hating!