Faceoff Factor

Hump-day Hater Report 1-21-09

Mike Wilson | National Hockey League

Jan 21, 02:39 AM | Hype this story!

Semin hates defending himself

…and he proved it too. Before the Pens/Caps game last week, Semin attempted to clear the water about his comments on Sidney Crosby. He claimed that everything was a misunderstanding, misinterpretation, misquotation, Miss America, Misty Mountain Hop, etcetera, etcetera.

Instead of straightening things out, Semin made himself look like a fool by trying to avoid my hater list with his seemingly nice comments. Instead, he ended up with more people having beef with him than ever before, which has, in turn, upset cows everywhere.

Misty Mountain Hop?

Song by Led Zeppelin that was released on “Led Zeppelin IV” in 1971.

Roberto Luongo hates rust

It was a tough welcome back for the Vancouver goaltender and captain after missing eight weeks due to a groin injury. Luongo showed a little bit of rust (or perhaps conservatism toward his groin) in the Canucks’ hosting of the Coyotes last week. Luongo allowed four goals in the first two periods of play on only 32 shots. Now I’m no math whiz (hence why I do this), but I can figure out that Phoenix came out of that game with 12.5% shooting, which is no small task against Luongo, whether he’s injured or not.

Islanders’ goalies hate injuries

Last week was no picnic for goaltenders in blue and orange. DiPietro struggled in his few games back and last Tuesday, Andy MacDonald went down with an injury. This means that the Islanders have called up two goalies in less than a couple days. Third stringer, Yann Danis has shared in the responsibilities as well as AHL Bridgeport’s Wade Dubielewicz. It’s going to be a long month in Uniondale, New York.

Speaking of which…

The Islanders hate winning

The boys from the Island are winless in 2009. Their latest opportunity came Monday against the Capitals. However, the game ended in an overtime loss for New York…and I’m not counting one-point finishes. The next opportunity brings the Anaheim Ducks to the Nassau Coliseum tonight.

Commish! Tampa Bay is copying us again!

The Lightning struck (no pun intended…seriously, that one was an accident) another Pittsburgh resemblance last week when they were up on the Florida Panthers 3-1 after the first period. Tampa Bay lost the game 4-3, proving, yet again, how much they want to be like the Pittsburgh Penguins. In the Lightning’s defense, I did pick Florida to win the Southeast Division this year, so they probably realized they have some ground to make up if they don’t want to let me down…there’s still time.

Familiar faces

Mike Babcock had to face his former assistant coach, Todd McLellan, as the Red Wings and Sharks battled for first place in the West last Saturday. In what we all expected to be a good ol’ fashioned shoot-out, San Jose defeated Detroit 6-5. I guess that’s why McLellan is coaching the Western All-Stars, and Babcock isn’t (oh, burn).

NHL.com’s puns are showing me up

Over the past week, I’ve noticed headlines like these:

Thrashed in OT
Rich Peverley’s overtime goal capped Atlanta’s 4-3 comeback win over Toronto.

Oil’s too slick
Shawn Horcoff’s tie-breaking goal lifted Edmonton to a 3-2 victory over Colorado.

How can I compete with brilliance such as this? Hmmm….

What’s a goalie to do?

Some of you may have heard that goalie Dany Sabourin and Wilkes Barre-Scranton Penguin Ryan Stone have been sent out west to Edmonton for established goalie Mathieu Garon. Although, as a Johnstown Chiefs supporter, I’m sad to see Sabourin (a former Chief) leave Western Pennsylvania yet again, I do like the trade and what it has done to Fleury. However, Edmonton doesn’t seem very interested in keeping Saboo around in the NHL.

This begs a new question: What’s a goalie ‘Sa-boo’?

…your move, NHL.com.

Neil Everett loves Ovechkin

How does love make it to the hater report you ask? Well consider this…

In Monday night’s broadcast of ESPN’s SportsCenter, Neil Everett, anchor and leprechaun look-alike, called Alexander Ovechkin “the greatest player in the NHL.”

Whoa now, Neil. Now I’m not denying Ovechkin isn’t one of the greatest players in the NHL. In fact, I’m not doubting his capabilities at all. Instead, I’m saying that ESPN showed Ovechkin an awful lot of love given their lack of care toward hockey. When you fire Matthew Barnaby, replace him with someone who actually had talent, and start showing at least three-quarters of the night’s NHL highlights, then (and only then) will you be permitted to say who is best in the NHL. I’ll have my eyes on you.

Giguere and Lundqvist hate working two jobs

As some of you might know, the Pens won two straight games this past weekend: Friday in Anaheim (3-1) and Sunday against the Rangers (3-0). However, I have to defend both losing goaltenders, J.S. Giguere and Henrik Lundqvist. They had to be over-worked from their second jobs as co-spokesmen for Michelin Tires. Guys, you have to decide between one job and the other, you can’t keep moonlighting like this…you’re bringing the wrong pads to the wrong jobs.

Mike Milbury and Pierre McGuire hate each other

Seriously guys…enough is enough. It sounds like you two are married.

The Bruins hate the Blues

Boston is sitting pretty near the top of the standings in the Eastern Conference. St. Louis is doing its usual opposite in the Western Conference. But, just for a night, the Blues looked like the team to beat. In the last moments of the game, they prevented an empty-net goal attempt by the Bruins and charged back up ice to score the game tying goal in the final seconds. A game that once saw them trailing 4-2 ended in a shootout victory for St. Louis, 5-4.

Ryan Getzlaf hates Alex Ovechkin

We begin at last season’s skills competition, when Ovechkin attempted to combine hockey with baseball during his breakaway. Well, a year later, Anaheim forward Ryan Getzlaf finally came out and expressed his lack of envy for his fellow acrobat saying, “I thought it was a little overrated.”

Maybe so, but there’s only one way to find out…this year’s skills competition will be on Saturday, January 24 at 7 p.m. Let’s see who really deserves to come out on top.

Well, that concludes this week’s edition of the HH Report. As always, be sure to look for more haters in hump-days to come.

Happy hating!