News Flash To Kris Draper: You Lost
Jesse Marshall | National Hockey League
Jun 17, 12:21 PM | Hype this story!
I am commissioning the readers of Faceoff-Factor go to Home Depot today and buy a bunch of wood.
Leave work right now. We don’t have time to waste.
Take the wood home and assemble an ark-like structure in your backyard, gather your family and any animals you may own and prepare for the worst.
Kris Draper is crying so much that I honestly think the world may flood again.
We need to preserve the human race in the face of this immediate danger.
But seriously, it’s a shame that I even have to take the time to write this article. The Penguins just won the Stanley Cup and we’re sitting here debating handshake line times on their DVR.
But should we be surprised? Sidney Crosby can’t do anything good without the caped anti-Crosby crusaders stepping up to the plate to dismiss his every achievement. People in Washington D.C. and Philadelphia are literally drooling with ecstasy as they bash Sidney all over Al Gore’s internet and try to degrade our Stanley Cup as much as they possibly can.
Which brings me to my next two points: those that are complaining are probably fans of a team that Crosby has perennially torched or eliminated from the post-season, and we won the Stanley Cup.
You know, the Stanley Cup: that big silver chalice that everyone plays for? The coup de grace? It belongs to Crosby. The kid you love to hate so very much.
Last season, when the Penguins were dispatched of in 6 games, Niklas Lidstrom was not the first person in the handshake line for the Detroit Red Wings.
Outrage! Lidstrom doesn’t care about hockey. He actually had the audacity to celebrate the Cup a moment later than his teammates and didn’t lead the handshake line for the Red Wings!
See how easy that is? Anyone can do it. All you have to do is muster all of your anger from losing and focus it onto one meaningless event. That way, it takes the attention off of the team that won the actual championship and onto your little personal crusade to defame the ones that beat you.
I’ve got you figured out, Kris Draper! And you can write that down.
Anyway, the bottom line here is that the Penguins won.
Do you know why Sidney Crosby was able to shake the hand of every Red Wing last year? Because he waited on the ice after the game was over to salute the fans who spent their time, emotions and money investing as much into the Cup run as they could.
That type of activity is apparently below Kris Draper, who bolted to the locker-room like a kid who had his toy taken away from him.
And now he wants the whole world to know that he isn’t happy about losing his toy.
Which leaves us with the following situation: the Detroit Red Wings aren’t talking about the actual hockey portion of Game 7. They’re talking about the events that transpired afterwards.
How absurd is that?
Kris Draper isn’t looking back with the media and saying, “Gee, maybe I could have cleared that puck. Or gotten that shot on goal. We could have tied the game.”
Nope. Forget the actual hockey game that occurred. That was just a formality.
It’s the handshake that makes all the difference.
I’ve got news for Kris Draper. You lost. If it was too much for you to wait 15 seconds for Sidney Crosby to step towards you, then the handshake tradition obviously means nothing to you.
Being gracious as a loser obviously isn’t in Draper or Zetterberg’s repertoire. Credit to the Wing’s for winning so much. We’ve yet to see the sour side of things.
Regardless, all we can do now is prepare for the flood. The tears have been flowing, and it’s already raining in Pittsburgh. You should all have your arks assembled by the end of the work day.
After the tears stop flowing and the ground dries. We can all emerge from our ark to shake hands and rebuild the world.
Captains have to be first. And don’t waste any time celebrating the fact that you survived or I’m heading back into my boat.
Comments
Nathan
Jun 17, 12:50 PM
Good job Jesse.
This all starts from the coach out. These guys don’t know how to lose.
I had so much respect for Lidstrom, Zetterberg and ESPECIALLY Babcock, but after hearing their sore-loser talk after the game it all has changed.
I’m really just floored at their juvenile attitudes after being dethroned as the best team in hockey.
Pens1967
Jun 17, 01:44 PM
I saw a picture of Sid shaking Zetterberg’s hand so I don’t why Zetterberg is complaining.
I also heard Babcock say to Sid as they shook hands something like “good games. great leadership by you.”
Nate
Jun 17, 02:07 PM
We all have to learn that the Penguins are judged by a double standard that no other team in the league is judged by.
Cry all you want, the Cup’s in the ‘Burgh.
SprJudd
Jun 17, 02:57 PM
Kris Draper actually seems more upset about this than he did back in ’96 when Claude Lemieux destroyed his face. Way to put things in perspective there, pal.
TIM
Jun 17, 03:45 PM
Like a photoshop said you can’t spell Draper with out WAHHHHHHH. I will say however, that this is adding to the nice little rivalry the Pens and Wings have going. 8 million people watched game 7 which is nothing but a good thing for the NHL. I don’t think even Kris Draper can cry about that.
Jesse Marshall
Jun 17, 04:28 PM
Tim,
8 Million People watched the final and ESPN spent 8 seconds covering it.
Ray aka WildcatRay
Jun 17, 04:39 PM
Good post, Jesse.
stoopidful
Jun 17, 05:58 PM
I haven’t felt moved to post here in a while, so this one will probably be too long.
1. All the folks that complain that Sid is too controlled and robotlike are now complaining that he was overcome with emotion and celebrated too much. Please, give me a break.
2. The last time I checked, sportsmanship called for the loser to congratulate the winner. It is not the responsibility of the winner to seek out the loser so that the loser can offer those congratulations. (Get it, Red Wings, you were the losers.)
3. In the vein of he who has no sin may cast the first stone . . . um, can anybody, and I mean anybody, from Draper on down to the lowliest fanboy, say that they have had to live their life with as much pressure, scrutiny, criticism and downright enmity that this talented, poised young man has had to endure since sometime before his eighteenth birthday? Surely, none of these seasoned professionals, some of whom are nearly old enough to have fathered a child Sid’s age during a one night stand with a puckbunny, were ever caught up in the moment of high emotion when they were twenty-one. Wonder how all the greybeards (or as I’ve seen them called on another blog, aging gingers) would fare if every faux pas or misstep that somebody perceived they had committed when they were twenty-one was trumpeted for millions of people to then pass judgment?
4. Gee, the grapes sure are sour in Detroit.
:Stepping down from soapbox, fully intending to never mention this subject to another human being again.:
DaBich
Jun 17, 06:47 PM
Jesse, great write up! I have to wonder tho, who lets the press on the ice the second the clock is done ticking? Are there no rules or guidelies for allowing the teams members to form that line and do that handshake? If there were, the press would have had to wait, and Sid wouldn’t have been as distracted as he was. The press started this, and they are running with it, and if I were Sid, I think I’d have to boycott them in the future…boy would THAT have backlash!
That being said, Detroit Wings players are making themselves look like the proverbial horse’s butt. And the stench will choke even the hardiest when the gas cloud clears and people THINK about WHAT they are complaining about. C’mon, Wings, get a life, don’t you have any self-respect at all?
Matt
Jun 17, 08:40 PM
Wow, Jesse, you really called it on the arks. Squirrel Hill looks like a whitewater rafting adventure right now…
Pens1967
Jun 17, 08:43 PM
I think Madden said on his show yesterday that Draper texted his friends in the Detroit press first thing in the morning complaining about Sid. If not for that, I don’t think the media would even have noticed it.
BTW, Jory Rand has his eyewitness account over at the KDKA blog.
Matt Bodenschatz
Jun 17, 10:02 PM
First off, great piece, Jesse. Loved the beginning!
Second, Stoopidful, comment more. Please. Your insightful discussion is exactly what FF is all about.
@Dabich, spot on. The easiest way to prevent such issues would be to keep the media away until after the handshake. Not a difficult concept, but the NHL won’t grasp it.
@Matt, I’m watching live footage of the Pittsburgh storms as they move toward Johnstown. I’m hoping I wake up with a workable car — one that remains in my driveaway (as opposed to swept down the street) and one that remains in tact (as opposed to smashed by egg-sized hail).
Nate
Jun 18, 11:13 AM
Great points by all. I think this is just the way that the Red Wings feel they can keep the media attention on themselves and not on the 2009 Stanley Cup Champion Pittsburgh Penguins (sorry, I just love saying that) where it belongs this year.
And hopefully you all made it through the floods. I live a ways north of Pittsburgh and didn’t see much more than a little shower.
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